The Strongest Quality of One’s Voice is Being Silent

Listen (to somebody/something): to pay attention to somebody/something; to take notice of what somebody says to you so that you follow their advice or believe them.

Leadership is listening. Listening to everybody and everything, because you can only make decisions if you know as much as possible about a situation and that means listening.

Jürgen Klopp

Often during leadership trainings for our customers some of the participants are asking me what is the single most important quality of any good communicator.

For me the answer is without any doubt the ability to listen to our partner in communication.

According to the leading expert in the field Julian Treasure, there are different listening positions:

• Active/Passive

• Critical/Empathic

• Reductive/Expansive

Active listening is to listen consciously and deliberately to our partner in communication with the intent to fully understand what has been said.

Passive listening on other hand does not require to put much effort in it, because no response from us as listeners is needed. We use it when we listen to music, podcasts or prerecorded online classes for example.

Critical listening is to evaluate what we hear, to gather the facts.

Empathic listening is with the intent to support the feelings of the speaker, making sure that his views are respected and valued.

Reductive listening is listening for. The goal is to find a solution, to fix the problem in the specific situation.

Expansive listening is to listen with. It is the so called creative listening, to listen for the sake of listening itself, to listen with curiosity and compassion, to explore ideas. It is applicable in brainstorming.

As an active skill, listening is something that can be taught.

The secret is to practice, practice, practice and practice...

But most of all...to practice.

Switching between those listening positions will expand our abilities to react in different situations, will give us more choice, and will take us to a different level of understanding and helping others grow.

Because that is what true leadership is all about.

Being a listener rather than speaker puts us in a stronger position, gives us more control in every situation, more information, more tools to be effective. Listening enables us to create trustworthy relationships with and within our team. You do not want to be a leader who puts himself first. Because it is never about you, but about your behavior towards others. When we listen consciously and fully, we automatically put others in the center, we empower them.

To do so we have to be aware of the different listening position and to practice them. Because to use them effectively they have to move from a conscious level of competence to unconscious one.

Do you remember the first minutes and hours when you started to learn to drive a car? It was difficult to decide what comes first - seat accommodation or the look in rear view mirror, ignition or pressing the clutch, giving signal or put in the first gear. And now most of us don't even think about it when we get into our car.

It is the same with every habit.

When we learn to use and switch between different listening positions we have to be conscious at the beginning but with time we get accustomed to them, they become our second nature. This unconscious level of competence then enables us to fully focus on our partner in communication, and to pay all our attention to them.

Easier said, than done...

The secret is to practice, practice, practice and practice...

But most of all...to practice.